Album Review – The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift (16 Songs)

The Tortured Poets Department

The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift / Twitter

Happy “The Tortured Poets Department” era!!.

It took me a while to process and put my thoughts in words because “I love this album and it’s ruining my life”. Every time Taylor Swift releases an album I have an instant favorite and I refuse to listen to anything other than that for the foreseeable future but I end up having more songs as favorites later. Same with this album, I was obsessed with track 1 and it was kind of shocking to me too how good the first tracks were and I had a hard time ranking them as favorites too.

But I ended up having more favorites a few days later as well. And don’t get me started on the 2nd album. I was kind of prepared for more songs and it also felt obvious to me there going to be vaults songs or more bonus tracks so it was surprising to get a whole album on the same day

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Thought About the Album – The Tortured Poets Department + Ranking

I’m not gonna lie and I agree with everyone that it felt like I’m watching a movie with subtitles. That’s the beauty of Taylor Swift’s song writing. This album wrecked me and made me go through emotions I still can’t explain. It felt like a death to my reputation and lover’s heart. The lyrical parallels, meanings

1. “Fortnight” (featuring Post Malone) – 5/5 ⭐ ️

Never in a million years did I think I would be obsessed from just the first track. 2 days in I have steamed this song and watched the video a million times already. I went through every emotion possible from the first listen. I felt the first crack hearing “I love you it’s ruining my life ” I knew this one was going to wreck me. But also “Now you’re at the mailbox, turned into good neighbors, My husband is cheatin, I wanna kill him” this is so “Gone Girl” and “You” coded Taylor seriously needs to write a thriller book or a short film. – I never thought I’d love this collab so much. I know it doesn’t make sense but it kinda feels like the hug taylor gave post Malone at the 2019 vmas. Goshh
This is definitely one of my favorite collabs of all time and why THEY SOUND SOOOO GOOD TOGETHER!! I need more of theseeee.

I wish the Fortnight music video was a short film like “All Too Well: The Short Film”

2. ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ – 4.75/5

If folklore and midnights had a baby it would be this song. Loved how the title track was produced. The lyrics reference everything was perfect. “But I’ve seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?” The swifties who should get paid a million dollars to solve all the easter eggs. Also the exile reference!?? I have just listened to 2 songs and the lyrical parallels are killing mee.

“You take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one….. “And I chose this cyclone with you.”

This part feels like her hoping or dreaming about her wedding and all the chaos she chose to be with him and it feels so raw. But I wish it was only about or dedicated to joe. But i think some parts are about Matty Healy. Also I refuse to believe she added the Charlie Puth reference in this song!!

3. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” 4.75/5

First track on the record where I needed a dictionary. And I believe there will be a million more by the end of the last one. I predicted it will be about Joe Alwyn and might also have some lover lyrics parallel. But it’s so sad and heartbreaking and it also feels like her rage towards joe. The vocals and beat are perfect.

“Once I fix me
He’s gonna miss me
Once I fix me
He’s gonna miss me,”

The bridge sounds so good with the layered whispery voice. This also seems like an affirmation and glow up song. Also the ken/barbie reference made me remember how we were robbed for not having a soundtrack (Taylor’s Version).

4. “Down Bad” 3.75/5

‘Now I’m down bad, crying at the gym, Everything comes out teenage petulance’ – as a gym girlie never in a million years have I thought Taylor would write a song about us. Good thing I got to add a new song to my gym playlist (Taylor’s version). The lyrics are very wild and chaotic and I really love it for her. I didn’t really love it on the first listen but I know I will eventually love this later.

5. “So Long, London” 5/5

This song should have been named “So Sad, London”. I was intrigued from the moment I saw the “The Tortured Poets Department” track list reveal. I also knew it won’t be the same ever again to listen to London boy after this and it came true because I can’t enjoy the glitter pen songs after this.

I’m obsessed with the intro, the vocals and melody feels like chimes, the sound of bells, a distant sound from somewhere or a version of “cherry wine by hozier playing from a distant church in a forest” and now I want a “So Long, London” version of this!! The beats reminded me of call it what you want at first and a lot like It’s Nice to Have a Friend from Lover.

As beautiful as this song sounds, the lyrics are equally heartbreaking. Overall this song felt like a goodbye to the lover album and confirmation of midnights and you’re losing me. The reference are also getting better and stronger by each track.

6. But Daddy I Love Him” 4/5

As someone who became a Swiftie solely after a love story I think it’s nice to see a different version of “love story” in this song. It feels like that version is grown up in this song or it’s a sister of love story. The lyrics and references match so perfectly. I thought it was really funny to use the little mermaid reference as the title. But I’m cracking up on this part.

“Scrеamin’, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m havin’ his baby. No, I’m not, but you should see your faces”

I imagine this is what Taylor says when us Swifties are clowning.
This song felt like folklore at first but it’s female rage. A perfect song to scream at the top of our lungs when anything goes wrong. That’s why I love the bridge, how smooth with a mix of rage it feels like.

“God save the most judgmental creeps
Who say they want what’s best for me
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see”

I’m definitely playing this whenever I’m angry or sad.

7. “Fresh Out the Slammer” 3/5

At this point I’m really confused which song is written about whom. Because this song feels like an explanation to me. A few parts feel like it’s about Joe Alwyn because “Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter. He was with her in dreams” it seems like she’s talking about the time of their break up. And mentioning blue which she used a lot for the songs written joe. Then again,
“Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under”
it feels like talking about the transition of her relation about joe and matty. I need to read some theories now. But mostly the whole song feels like a recap of her relationship with Joe and experience of her coming fresh out of the heartbreak.
And the last line, ‘But it’s gonna be alright, I did my time’ ‘ is giving Harry styles, we will be alright.

8. Florida!!!” (featuring Florence and the Machine) – 5/5

Why does this song feel like euphoria soundtrack? And I won’t be surprised to see it in an episode of Euphoria Season 3. And i really wanted to see a Taylor swift song featured in euphoria :)). And Florence Welch , ughs why do they sound sooo good together? I am also convinced Taylor chooses her collabs specifically knowing who would be the best or how they would sound good together.

I thought this song will be about something that happened on her first tour which happens to be in Florida or more about the very first news of her breakup situation but it feels like a crime was committed and a lot of the vibes off reputation “You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too
They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true”
– And this woman seriously needs to write a crime thriller novel or a short film please.

“Little did you know your home’s really only
A town you’re just a guest in”

I thought it would never be the same to listen to London boys after so long London. But my favorite lyrics with the favorite word home in this lyrical parallel feels like a big heartache to me. And I need 13 thousand business weeks to process this.

9. “Guilty as Sin?” 4/5

What kind of crack did Taylor and Jack put in this song? I had a hard time understanding the lyrics but the production was beyond good and it screams jack. Also more mentions of the color blue so I think it’s about joe. This song actually feels like it belongs to reputation and that’s why I live this a lot right now.

It also feels like it was inspired by tolerate it. So that might be another reference of Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier which is a really good thriller and romance novel and one of Taylor swift’s favorite books. Also it reminded me of the forbidden trope, gosh I need to make a book recess now

10. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” – 4/5

This song screams reputation. And the lyrics felt like replies to certain people, hate attacks, betrayal and more. But I loved the Virginia Woolf reference.
“Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
Who’s afraid of little old me?” –
it’s giving I come back stronger than a 90s trend. “I was tame, I was gentle ’til the circus life made me mean” Yupp that’s definitely her stronger comeback and at this point I feel like all the lyrical parallels are stronger versions in this album.

11. “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” – 3.75/5

I was really excited thinking it would be about Joe, about his mental health and everything struggles with and everything they both went through and the cause and Taylor helping him and so much more just to be it ended up being about Matty? Well I’m sorry I don’t like it then.

Till i heard the last line
“I can fix him, no, really, I can (No, really, I can)
Woah, maybe I can’t” –
which was a really good plot twist that’s why she needs to write a book.

12. “Loml” – 4/5

It’s confusing but this is probably the most heartbreaking song on the record.

13. “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” – 5/5

I love this song Can’t believe she actually a song about the eras tour.

I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday every day
I’m so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.
I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it’s an art.” This song is soo me core.

14. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” – 3/5

I didn’t really liked this song.

15. “The Alchemy” – 4.5/5

Well this is good. finally a song about Travis. Why does it sound a lot like Halsey’s colors?

16. “Clara Bow” – 5/5

I think this songs is about Sabrina Carpenter

My Ranking of The Tortured Poets Department :

  1. Fortnight (featuring Post Malone)
  2. “So Long, London”
  3. “I Can Do It with a Broken Heart”
  4. “The Tortured Poets Department”
  5. “Clara Bow”
  6. “Guilty as Sin?”
  7. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
  8. “Florida!!!” (featuring Florence and the Machine)
  9. “Down Bad”
  10. “But Daddy I Love Him”
  11. “The Alchemy”
  12. “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”
  13. “Loml”
  14. “Fresh Out the Slammer”
  15. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”
  16. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”

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